This week, former Speaker of the House John Boehner, the only man whose orange hue rivals that of Donald Trump, unloaded on fellow Republican Ted Cruz. Boehner called Cruz, who is said to have played a major role in the 2013 federal government shutdown, “Lucifer in the flesh” and a “miserable son of a bitch.”
On Friday night’s edition of HBO’s Real Time, host Bill Maher tried to do him one better.
“[Cruz] started an alliance with John Kasich. It’s just like a reality show—they’re making alliances,” said Maher. “And then, because he placed last in four out of the five primaries on Tuesday, he picked a running mate—for a race he will not be running. Yes, Carly Fiorina. They had a big ceremony and Carly came out. It was like Hitler marrying Eva Braun in the bunker, except sad.”
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Maher then, as is his wont, took the time to unload on his No. 1 target: Donald J. Trump.
“Donald Trump was in Orange County. It’s like Chris Christie being in Fat City. It’s wonderful, isn’t it?” proclaimed Maher during his opening monologue. “Orange County, where Disneyland is. If you think you saw Donald Trump but it might have been Mickey Mouse, here’s the difference: both are comic book rodents, but Mickey has large hands.”
“Look, [Trump] appears unstoppable now,” he continued. “Not only did he win five of the primaries on Tuesday on the East Coast, but he won big. And Hillary won four out of the five pretty big, too. It looks pretty sure now that it’s going to be Hillary vs. Donald Trump. That is your national election. On one side, a hysterical woman, and on the other side Hillary Clinton.”
Throughout the program, Maher criticized Trump for claiming that Hillary was “playing the woman card,” that if she were a man she wouldn’t get five percent of the vote, and that “women don’t like her.” “Uh, no Don, women don’t like you. They don’t like you big-time,” said Maher. “Have you seen [Trump’s] numbers with women? He’s like menstrual cramps in a suit.”
Later on, during the panel discussion portion, Maher called Trump a “fucking bitch” for criticizing the fact that President Obama didn’t have someone to greet him at the airport in Cuba—something that Obama clearly brushed off, yet a “thin-skinned” person like Trump would get pissy over. “Tell me what is masculine about Donald Trump, because I don’t see it,” said Maher. “I don’t see anything masculine about this guy, the most thin-skinned, erratic, non-logical, whiny person in the world—that’s the old woman’s stereotype, not the present—but I don’t see what is masculine about him.”
