When hints start to drop that there is going to be Taylor Swift news, there are fans who fire up the group texts, flood the Swifties Reddit boards, put on a favorite piece from their full wardrobe of Eras Tour merch, and hit refresh on their computers until the big announcement comes.
I retreat to a bunker.
I like Taylor Swift well enough. Fandom can be fun. Swiftie excitement, however, is an entirely overwhelming to experience.
When Swift launched a countdown clock to her Aug. 12 at 12:12 am announcement, however, it felt like the social media meltdowns in anticipation were being hurled at me through my computer screen. It was like a bombardment of glee. I’m an aging millennial; I can’t handle that much glee.
Once the clock struck 12:12, Swift did unveil the title of her new album, her 12th, The Life of a Showgirl, in a clip from her appearance on New Heights, the podcast hosted by her boyfriend, Travis Kelce, and his brother, Jason. That interview, the rest of which will be released Wednesday, was its own source of pandemonium. It was first teased with a silhouette of a New Heights mystery guest—obviously it was a matter of seconds before Swifties tracked down the photo of Swift that was being shadowed.
The aspect of a Taylor Swift announcement meltdown tailspin that I enjoy most is when the delirium boils over to the part of the internet that, whether or not they love, hate, or have no strong feelings about Swift, seize the rare moment of monoculture and do what they do best: skewer it. (Often with good intention!)
Prior to the announcement, social media’s best humorists joked about the fact that, between the hints, Easter eggs, and countdown, Swift was behaving like the Zodiac Killer. It’s a comparison so tongue-in-cheek you can’t help but laugh: “babe wake up taylor swift is acting like the zodiac killer again.”
It’s when the album title was unveiled, however, that open season for social media jokes really began.
The Life of a Showgirl quickly became fodder for people to quickly call to mind their own favorite entertainers who have, whether earned or not, adopted the “showgirl” label in their performing careers.
The ultimate showgirls that users on X shouted out were, of course, the Real Housewives.
Recent Broadway divas got called out, including Tony Award winner Nicole Scherzinger, the “Gotta Have a Gimmick” dancers from Gypsy, and cabaret master of the madcap medley herself, Mary Todd Lincoln from Oh, Mary!
I burst out laughing at the image of Amy Madigan’s horrifyingly demented villain from this past weekend’s hit horror thriller Weapons.
And probably even harder at this clip of my beloved Kathie Lee Gifford and Hoda Kotb when they used to host the fourth hour of Today.
Icons got their due, like Miss Piggy.
And, um, the Statue of Liberty? Or is it the Staten Island Ferry being called out in this photo?
The event of this viral trend proves that there is simply no occasion in which this recently very popular meme of Carrie Bradshaw mortifying herself in Sex and the City isn’t applicable.
I can’t decide if I’m endlessly amused or absolutely horrified at this photo of George Santos resurfacing because of this trend.
And of course, there’s the showgirl to end all showgirls.
These Taylor Swift announcements fascinate me because they bring out what I think are some of the best parts, but also the worst parts, of modern internet culture.
The hoopla-hysteria of it all can be endearing and its nice to be united around enthusiasm for once—until the firehose of adulation and idolatry veers towards something sort of dystopian. The digital impulse to make fun is a blast as long as it stays in good faith, but so often it can turn the corner to vicious and mean. (Ask Katy Perry about that.) It’s all just…a lot.
I’m glad I had the foresight to hunker down when the circa-midnight announcement was made (aka be fast asleep because I am an Old Person). And in the aftermath, I choose to giggle.
