For years, the online right was convinced that the death of Jeffrey Epstein, the powerful and well-connected financier who was found dead in prison in 2019 as he awaited trial for a myriad of sex-trafficking charges, was very suspicious.
Why? Because Epstein has been friends with major Democratic politicians like Bill Clinton and the late New Mexico Gov. Bill Richardson, as well as other wealthy liberals. (Epstein was also friends with numerous Republicans, but such a detail was irrelevant for most MAGA conspiracy theorists.)
His death by suicide must, therefore, have been part of as major cover-up by the left to protect its own, right?
Or not.
On Monday, in a two-page memo, the Department of Justice and the FBI concluded that not only did Epstein, in fact, die by suicide but that there was no “client list” that documented the powerful men who had traveled to his private sex island and otherwise engaged in sexual encounters with young women that Epstein helped arrange. Nor is there any evidence, according to the DOJ and FBI, that Epstein blackmailed prominent people with their participation in these activities.
And—shock of all shocks—folks called bullsh-t.
This is what happens when the dog catches the car. Or, to put a finer point on it, when you and the people around you become the very “Deep State” you have spent years attacking.
Let me explain.
Among many in the president’s orbit, people like FBI director Kash Patel, deputy FBI Director Dan Bongino and Attorney General Pam Bondi had made very good livings prior to joining the administration by suggesting that Democrats were involved in all sorts of conspiracies.
Trump himself had successfully weaponized such suspicions during his 2016 campaign, and then used the notion of a secret cabal working to thwart him to make the case he actually won the 2020 election. (He didn’t.)
But here’s the problem with conspiracy-theory thinking: You can’t just tell people to turn it off. Once you have spread those seeds and watered them for years, they grow beyond your control.
Republicans spent so many years convincing their base that Democrats in government were up to something sinister that, now that they are the ones in charge in Washington, they can’t manage to convince those same people that everything is above board.
Consider Bondi. She told Fox News in February that the Epstein client list was “sitting on my desk right now to review.” Which, in light of the DOJ/FBI memo, can’t be true. Because there was no client list.
So, why did Bondi say it? Well, because she knew that the right was, well, deep into the Epstein conspiracy—and that by stoking the notion that she was getting to the bottom of exposing this Democratic cover-up, she would win plaudits from those folks.
At least, I think. Another theory is that there is, in fact, a client list—and that Donald Trump’s name is on it. That’s what former Trump best buddy Elon Musk alleged last month in an incendiary, now-deleted tweet.
In this scenario, Trump himself put the kibosh on its release of a client list—and left Bondi to eat a big ol’ sh-t sandwich.
I don’t know that, of course. And I suspect we never will.
But what I do know is this: The top officials in the Leopards Eating Faces Party are shocked—SHOCKED!—that those leopards are now eating their faces.
Who could have seen this coming? Just about everyone, it turns out. Including the leopards.
